In contemplating how to begin the very first entry of this blog, I thought of several possibilities. I could start with an enthusiastic welcome, a joke, a heartfelt thank you, or a statement of credibility. In the end, I decided to go with the option that was most important: a disclaimer. It’s essential that I start by making this explicitly clear: this is NOT a diet blog. I will NOT perform diet-blog-related tasks, which include, but are not limited to: telling you what to eat, telling you what not to eat, or laying out an eating plan that involves steps, stages, restrictions, indulgences, cheat days, fast days, calorie counting, etc. etc. etc. I will NOT make you any promises involving the loss of: pounds, inches, fat; or the gain of: muscle, endurance, “swag”. I will NOT instill a false sense of hope that there is a truly “magic” way of eating, which will give you the body you’ve always wanted and cause you to sweat self-esteem.
Secondly, this is also NOT a food blog. I’m coming clean right off the bat and telling you I am not a chef, nor a foodie, nor a healthy recipe innovator. Recipes involving several ingredients, more than one of which I have never heard of, scare me. When it comes to cooking, I want quick, easy, convenient…and oh right, healthy. With that said, I will be happy to post recipes on this blog, but they will not be complicated and likely will not be my own creations. Trust me, it’s better that way. I also will not subject you to pictures of what I eat on a daily basis, for fear you will grow so bored that your head will hit your keyboard and something like this will result: hhhhhhhhhhhhhasdgukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Then you’ll have that red squiggly line that indicates a misspelled word staring at you, angry, confused at what your intended spelling was. Then I’ve ruined your relationship with Microsoft Word. I’m trying to prevent all these things.
Are we in agreement? Perfect. Now that I’ve expressed my disclaimer, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kelly and I am a Registered Dietitian and Certified Personal Trainer in the Boston area. More importantly, I’m the Pocket RD, your go-to pocket guide for all things nutrition! I’m here to answer your questions, debunk those myths, and do my best to fit together the thousands of misshapen and slightly jagged pieces that make up the nutrition puzzle. The best part is that you only need to visit one website to put this puzzle together, and congratulations, you’re already here! And to clue you in to my evil plot, I’m planning to utilize my incredible wit and slightly biting sarcasm to keep you from leaving (ok, I’ll give you some funny pictures and videos too if all else fails). You’ll have a ton of nutrition information in your back pocket in no time, and what a great party trick that makes. Just don’t attempt to actually put me in your back pocket, because I will bend, and you might already have an iPhone 6. Hope you just got the joke. #bendgate
To continue my thoughts before I made the awful bendgate joke, it has come to my attention that we are absolutely inundated with nutrition information, sling-shot into our brains through the internet, TV and magazines. It has also come to my attention that a high percentage of that information is complete bull****. Forgive me, I tend to become slightly “perturbed” when bad nutrition information happens to good people. Nutrition is MESSY, it’s COMPLICATED, it’s CONFUSING. Welcome to the ultimate gray area, ladies and gentlemen, it’s a great place to visit, don’t forget to take a picture before you leave. The light at the end of this winding tunnel is that nutrition is the most individualized thing out there. This is a good thing, I promise. All the books and the talk shows (don’t get me started on Dr. Oz) that generalize these miracle foods or diets to the whole population are missing the boat. Of course, they make millions and can afford to buy the boat, so I suppose they don’t miss it that much…but point is, everything you see in the media needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Sometimes they’re not telling you the whole story. Or they’re basing recommendations on a single research study. They’re also forgetting that every BODY is DIFFERENT, so what works for that one satisfied customer on TV may not work the same for you. This is not meant to be discouraging, it’s meant to release you from the chokehold that popular media have on nutrition. It’s a liberating kind of thing…go with it.
Now I realize I’ve gone on and on about how brilliant this nutrition knowledge will be for you, but haven’t shared my credentials that prove I’m qualified for this level of brilliance. I completed my Master’s degree in nutrition at Boston University, and my personal training education at the School of Hard Knocks (just kidding, it was the combination of a textbook, exercise physiology class, a LOT of observation, and of course, working at the gym front desk, where you see and learn all). The process to achieve Registered Dietitian status is lengthy (3 years) and difficult (unpaid internships), but earns me the right to officially call myself the Pocket RD and bestow this nutrition knowledge upon the masses. For that, you are welcome.
I understand that your reason for visiting this blog is varied: hoping to become healthier, hoping to expand your interest in nutrition, hoping to get your nutrition questions answered, and of course, hoping to read more of what this witty writer has to say on the subject. Some of you may be visiting this blog as a personal favor to me, for which I am quite thankful and as they say, owe you one. For you fans who have made it through this first entry, I promise to provide healthy eating tips, answers to your nutrition questions, and insight into the truth behind those myriad nutrition myths. I could give you countless recommendations, but the truth is, there are no hard and fast RULES with nutrition. Everything in nutrition is individualized. But never fear, that’s why I am here! This blog is meant to help YOU on your personal nutrition journey. So throw on a comfortable pair of jeans, because that back pocket has my name on it.